Downtown 8/27/2010

If you read last week's blog, you know it was one of the most fulfilling of my trips downtown. I guess that's why I was totally taken off-guard by this week's unfulfilling trip. It has taken me a few days to process and try to write about it. I've been off work for the last week or so and one might expect that I'd be relaxed and looking forward to a good trip. In fact, two days prior to the trip I was reading a little book by Samuel Chadwick titled "The Way to Pentecost". The book, in 20 short chapters, teaches about the purpose and work of the Holy Spirit. A memorable line from the book for me was, "The sequel to Jesus on earth is the Holy Spirit on earth and in us." I have felt promptings from the Holy Spirit many times while engaged in this ministry and while reading this book that night I felt another prompting. It was pretty clear, "Take nothing with you downtown." It was so clear that I wrote it down. I didn't get exactly when I was supposed to go with nothing but I knew it was something I was supposed to do soon. Anyway, I decided Friday was the day I was going downtown this week because it "fit in" better (first mistake) with the weekend's schedule so I got everything ready that morning and took off with my normal supplies (second mistake).
The trip started off fairly normal. I drove around for a while on the south side and found Tyronne. I even commented to him that he looked good that day. He has seemed "in a fog" at times and I'm always concerned with his health but he smiled as we talked. I also think it was the first time I've seen him standing up too. Usually he's sitting down like he's exhausted and barely speaks above a whisper. Nearby in that area I found Thomas a new acquaintance. On the east end of Washington Blvd near Santa Fe Ave. I saw two women pushing shopping carts. Their names were Wanda and Kesha. They had very little in their carts and were both very appreciative of the help. Wanda was probably in her thirties and Kesha was probably in her twenties. I didn't ask where they were staying but they appeared to be coming from a recycling place.
Later, on the north end of town under the 4th St bridge I found Michael. I hadn't seen him in a couple of months. He told me he had been staying in Watts but, "It wasn't working out." He appeared to be starting over again and didn't look too happy about it. I reminded him God was a God of second chances. I should have sat with him under the bridge and talked with him longer but I was concerned about "finishing up" on time.
I drove on down Mission Rd and towards Lincoln Park. When I got to the intersection there I saw a young Latino man there begging on one of the street corners. He had a small back pack and as cars would drive up (a different direction from where I was) he would take off his cap and hold it out and was pleading loudly in Spanish. I couldn't understand him but it was obvious he was asking for money and help. It was a pretty heart wrenching sight. So after driving around a couple of blocks I was able to pull up alongside him and gave him the last of the food and water. I asked him his name (in Spanish) and he said "Cesar, God bless you." It struck me as being ironic that someone with such a kingly name would be begging on a street corner. With that I left and drove home knowing something was missing from this trip. In my spirit I was deeply crushed. I felt I had let God and my homeless friends down.
So what went wrong? Well the most obvious thing missing to me was I didn't pray with a single person! Often when I write about a visit or encounter I don't always mention that I prayed with someone, but usually (not always) I do. This trip I seemed to be more concerned with getting done on time than about the people. To be sure I always have to fit these trips into my schedule but this one seemed way to routine and almost impersonal. I didn't have the connection with the people that I normally feel. It just seemed to be a trip where I gave out stuff and that was it. I never intended this ministry to be a social project but instead a spiritual ministry. Giving out stuff was only a means to talk and pray with people who needed to know God cares and loves them. That's the heart of this ministry, bringing the presence of God to hurting people. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel like I'm never supposed to give out stuff again, but perhaps I am being led to refocus on the original intent of the ministry. So my next trip, I 'm going with nothing (like I was told to do last time). It's a little scary and it's a little "out there", certainly out of my comfort zone. I will have to depend totally on the Holy Spirit "showing up" to make the next trip of value. In the Old Testament book of Zechariah (4:6) God speaks to the prophet about a task to be undertaken and says, "not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit." Jesus reiterates this in broader terms in the New Testament by saying simply, "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." I can certainly tesify to the truth of that statement. Please pray for the next trip. ---Until next week. John